#seriously I think they get better with age
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have Javier and reader ever talked about his relations when he was in Columbia? them being best friends and all. did she laugh it off? did she understand? I'm curious ☺️
HI SWEETHEART this made my day when I got it. I'm so sorry it took a while to answer but I hope you don't mind that I got a little carried away with this one... everything's weird and bad right now so I'm gonna post this and try to get some sleep - I hope you're taking care of yourself <3 thank you soso much for sending this ask, seriously it means the world. ily!! here's some tenderness for you.
javier confesses about colombia
an I'LL CARRY YOU drabble
Explicit (18+) | Javier Peña x f!reader | drabble 1.1k words CW: Allusion to canon-typical violence & trauma and two idiots being sickeningly in love.
You never push back on anything but his blame.
headcanons and full drabble below the cut!
in ICY, javi leaves to colombia (the first time) at twenty-eight (seen in part II). between that moment and when he returns aged thirty-six (seen in part I), they have no contact because her phone number changes, so when he calls her right after leaving (seen in dark heart), he thinks she's icing him out for good. *sobs gently*
we know he disappears again at the end of part I and doesn't return until he comes home for good at the end of part II. between those two meetings, they also have no contact - so his girl doesn't hear a thing about colombia (and by extension, all his sexual escapades), though she follows the news.
in the year after his return (all of part III) I don't think much of what happened down there comes up. javi's traumatized, still acclimating to civilian life while his girl's engaged *sobs harder*, and I imagine he's scared to admit his role in all the death and violence. if / when she asks, I think he keeps it pretty vague and chooses not to talk about the women he was involved with (they aren't together yet, after all)
POST-FINALE HOWEVER, javi tells her pretty much everything in little chunks at a time, including about all the women he slept with and what he knows of what became of them (I imagine the helena story is an especially tearful / difficult retelling, but it's important to him that she knows the truth). he's pretty terrified it'll scare her off, but I think we know her better than that.
here's a peek at what I imagine part of that conversation looked like <3
It’s the middle of the night and he’s not yet buying it, still has that little wrinkle above his nose that folds when he scowls cutting deep into his brow. Propped against the wall in his little twin bed, when you insist Javier’s dark eyes dodge yours and fall to the hands that knot themselves in his lap, anxious. But anxious is fine—just means he’s talking. Cutting off slabs of those missing years like meat from a bone for you to carry.
You’re grateful to be given anything at all. You know how deep trust like this really goes, unseen but branching. Mycelium underground.
You never push back on anything but his blame.
“Baby,” you say softly, and his jaw ticks as the word melts him a touch.
His chin might flicker briefly like his body longs to cry, but if it does he wrestles it back before meeting you with dark, helpless eyes. “You don’t know,” he says, no cruelty in it. His voice not much more solid than a whisper and slaughtered red by guilt.
“Know you though,” you say.
The sigh that cuts out of him could shatter you. Javier turns to stretch out length-wise on the bed, his socked feet hanging off the end. You moved in weeks ago but haven’t gotten around to upgrading to a bigger mattress and part of you believes—though you’d never say it—that he’s waiting to get through all this first. Like the hurt of him needs to be here to do it: in the bed where you both once were small, held. So you allow it, take turns groaning in the daylight hours about your backs and hips and necks, and at night you hold each other ‘cause you have to, to fit in this little thing. Not that you wouldn’t, anyway. Not that either of you know how to sleep without the weight of the other’s body anymore.
You always did sleep best beside him.
When he’s settled, you slip down to lie against him, propped up on one elbow with your torso folded over his and one arm draped across his hips. Javier sighs, pleased by the weight of you, and closes his eyes.
“Was different there,” he says, after a long moment. “M’different now.”
Outside the crickets are rioting again, ribbiting their threaded symphony. You push the hair back from his face—more pewter than ever but so familiar in its waves and curls—and watch the twitching of his face, all the microscopic ways he wrestles with some unnamed memory.
You give him his time. All this patient, open air until he swallows and starts to say, “Didn’t do right—”
It isn’t that his voice cracks, just that it stops all at once like someone’s lifted the needle off a record. Though you don’t know precisely what he’s trying to say, you sense its jagged outline. Can feel the memory slicing him anytime he speaks. Below you, Javier clears his throat. “Didn’t do right by them.”
Deep breath, then you push.
“Did you hurt them,” you ask, your voice quiet but solid, firm.
Though his brows fold low, his eyes stay closed. Swallows again. “No,” he says.
“Did you touch them without their consent,” you go on. “Do anything they didn’t want.”
“No,” Javier replies.
“Were you cruel?”
He shifts, uneasy. Mutters back a weak and whispered, “No.” Sometimes he has trouble with this one and stumbles over the answer, but tonight he’s got it right.
You know all this, of course. You’re not asking for you because you already know the answers—know him, whether he wants to admit it right now or not. Doesn’t matter that he’s different now; so are you. So is everybody. Tragedy doesn’t let a goddamn thing stay the same. And while you’ve always known you’ll never see nor fathom the whole, vicious picture—what living down there through years of violence laid ghost and seed beneath his skin—there’s not a bone in your body that believes him malicious.
At first he worried, but you don’t care about the bodies he lost himself in. All the women he held and had. Sort of surprised you too, but you didn’t learn of them until after you’d found each other again, for good this time, and so what was there to be afraid of? That there’d been, in the worst of his agony, warm hands and welcome bodies?
No, you don’t care. Doesn’t matter the number.
You’re glad that at least for small, clustered minutes, he wasn’t always alone.
“Did you try?” you ask. This is the big one, the one you know hurts most for him to hear. “To help them.”
In the turquoise cover of early night, Javier’s face crumples in. Forehead canyoned by lines, his eyes swallowed by miserable, crinkled Vs. You see no glossy tears slip loose but they must be in there, hidden under his lashes when for so long he holds his breath like he can’t trust his own lungs or own mind. While you wait, you lay one palm in the center of his chest and the shimmer of moonlight winks off your hand, reflected in the flat face of a garnet, making silver of red and pearl. It feels, for the moment it’s bright, a little like having his mother back. Like you can feel her in the room, holding him with you.
Javier’s heart hammers beneath your touch, then his hand bolts up to cover yours as if to keep you there. As if you’d ever pull away. “I—”
You press down gently, give him your warmth, your weight, and his hand tightens in kind.
“I wanted to,” he croaks.
“Did you try?”
And it breaks him, chokes him. One wet sound punches out of his chest but he’s tough, soft bits and all. Something in him’s always just known how to hold on. How to take it, for better or worse. But it’s for the better here, you’re certain. Because he won’t survive believing himself evil—you see that clearly, illuminated like a streetlamp casting gold over a night-dark road. If he doesn’t see that he tried, doesn’t let himself feel it, one of these days the guilt will kill him.
It’s just the one ragged breath, then he pebbles apart perfectly still. Steady, you leaden your weight on his sternum, press down a little harder, and Javier grips your hand with greater need. All his warring goes on quietly, invisible in all but his head.
“M’right here,” you tell him gently.
He nods, his eyes still shut. His breaths slow and agonizing.
“Right here,” you say.
Together you wait for the spell to pass, for the storm to clear, until finally the clouds part over him and he sucks one longer, deeper breath, dragging all the room’s air into his lungs. There it is, there he is, solidifying under your palm. Seaming back together, stained glass made new.
“I tried,” Javier breathes.
His face unfurls and the deep lines once carved with a knife fall smooth. The wrinkles stay of course, all the evidence of his life, but they’re softer now. You trace the crows feet at the corner of his eyes with your thumb and find his skin hot and damp.
“I know you did, baby,” you whisper to him. “You tried.”
Suddenly his arms fly up and crush you to his chest—so startled, you yelp and can’t help but chuckle as his grip tightens and tightens. You let him squeeze you, your arms trapped under his, and hum softly when you feel his nose against your hair. Carefully he inhales, then slow he exhales: something he’s picked up in his sessions, attended twice a month. Which is how you know that although he’s fallen silent, he’s busy in his mind reminding himself of frivolities. All the tiny bits he must have missed in those long, distant years he spent away from you, believing you hated him.
You imagine cut grass and July sunshine, beer bottles ice cold on the porch with his pop,
and rolling cigarettes in the bed of the pickup at sixteen, laughing at the sour clouds choking out of you when you couldn’t hold your smoke,
and birthday parties,
and your hand, at every age, in his.
He knows better now, that you never hated him and never could. Knows too that you’ve loved him all the years he’s loved you and will all the years you have left.
Eventually you feel the air shift as he comes home into his body. With his chest smushed tight against the shell of your ear, you’re half asleep, adrift in the deep throb of his pulse. You feel his mustache, the graze of his lips, and the quiet murmur of his voice calling you another name. New, these last weeks. It still surprises you, the sweetness of mi amor on his tongue, in his mouth.
“Get some sleep,” Javier murmurs as his arms go slack around you without pulling away.
“Only if you do,” you mumble in reply, eyes feathering open just long enough to catch the last of the sky’s deep blue. Then they’re closed again. Everything is warm and black.
“M’right behind you,” he says, and soon you’re both asleep.
dividers by @saradika-graphics <3 tag list below!
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#javier pena fanfiction#javier peña fanfic#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier pena narcos#javier peña#javier peña x reader#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña x you#javier peña smut#narcos fanfic#narcos fanfiction#almostfoxglove#myfics#drabble: javiconfession#series: illcarryyou#asks#freya speaks
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Kinktober Day 18: Aphrodisiac + Oral Fixation + Body Hair
Eddie Brock | Venom x Ex!Younger!F!Reader
Summary: Venom uses honey from your purse to whip up some tea for you and Eddie while helping you study. Little did he know, that honey has some…interesting side effects.
Warnings: dub con elements, exes to friends to lovers, accidental aphrodisiac, sub!eddie x horny!reader, consumption, teratophillia, not lore accurate, oral fixation (licking, biting), some scratching, oral through underwear, premature ejaculation, body hair kink, some hair pulling, threeway kiss, venom and reader are in cahoots, french kissing, some dry humping, age gap +18 reader, bimbo!reader, basically whole lot of tongue action
To this day, 7 months later, Venom still curses Eddie for letting you go. Blah, blah…she’s young and going to university…blah blah…new experiences. If long distance is really that hard, why is it that it only took Eddie 3 hours to drive to your dorm? If he was committed to your throupling, he’d make the commute everyday to see you.
But Ole Venom supposes he shouldn’t be too hard on Eddie. After all, he’s attentive enough to Venom where he notices his changes in mood. Especially when Venom’s in one of those depressive states where he desperately misses you; with the occasional breaking of items to cope with his pained feelings. Whenever he’d get this way, Eddie would take them up go a trip to you and you’d be the three musketeers.
This weekend being a three-day weekend excited Venom for things he had in store. He’s determined to win you back even in spite of what Eddie says because sometimes he just needs a push in the right direction.
Venom likes to think he’s become that of an expert at romance, having read enough gossip magazines and advice columns to say as such. He knows the love languages and he’ll be sure to use his tongue precisely for speaking them to you.
Yeah, he knows Eddie’s been suspicious of his saint behavior since their arrival—the rules were clear not to make any plans of winning you back—but Venom’s entitled to a little bit of rule-breaking. He hovers around, content as he watches Eddie and you laughing during your study session. If he sets the mood just right, things would get more intimate.
He then recalls a fact he’d gotten from an issue of Chic Heat Magazine that explains how tea can make people more susceptible to suggestion because it calms you. If you’re relaxed enough, you might take them back.
So he excuses himself to the kitchen, preparing some rose tea for you all to enjoy. You’d just run out of honey but you had some packets he’d noticed in your bag earlier, hopefully you don’t mind.
Once he returns to the circle, you beam at his gesture. “V…you are such a cutie. Thank you so much.”
“I wouldn’t say that too soon,” Eddie says in a tone that is both jest and serious. “We’ll check the state of the kitchen in a minute.”
You shrug. “No worse than the state I left it in.”
“You’ve gotta be more responsible, babygirl.” He frustratedly sighs.
“I’m studying. That’s pretty big for me,” You defend. “Usually I’d just flirt with the T.A. for the test answers or cram the day of. But I’ve been trying because you said I could do it.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Really proud of you, buddy.” He says, patting your knee and earning a smile from you.
Then, you’re taking a sip of your tea wanting to give Venom the praise he deserves. Your eyes brighten soon as the first sip stains your tongue and goes down your throat . “This is really good, V. Seriously. I couldn’t have done this better myself. What’d you put in it?”
“Honey…” He begins.
“Oh, I could’ve sworn I ran out—”
“…the ones in your purse.” He finishes.
Your eyes nearly leave your skull. “H-how many?”
“5,” He answers proudly. “Wanted to make it extra special for you.”
“Oh, it’s extra special alright.” You say with a nervous laugh.
“Everything okay?” Eddie asks in concern.
“Mhm,” You hum between a strained toothless smile. “L-let’s go back to studying, yeah?”
“What’s in those things?” Eddie questions, his investigative nature getting the better of him.
“Nothing to be concerned about…” Your words escape you when you see that Venom has already retrieved the emptied packet for Eddie to review.
“Sweet Honey Rush? You said you wouldn’t intern with these guys,” Eddie says. “Didn’t you read my story on them secretly being behind these campaigns for increasing the national birth rate. I sent you a link on Facebook. We’re like breeding stock to them.”
“No person younger than 35 uses facebook anymore, Eddie,” You argue. “And besides they were offering some really good benefits if I interned with them.”
“Like getting free honey packets?”
“They aren’t for me…they’re for me to give out to some college students. It’s the new craze. Everyone’s talking about. There’s even a challenge of it on TikTok. You wanna see?” You’re about to pull out your phone but he stops you.
“Don’t you see that they’re purposely targeting the younger population?” Eddie scoffs.
“No, I think I gave one to my pervy old maintenance man,” You justify but Eddie shakes his head in disbelief at you. “Oh come on. It’s not like they’re as good as you think them to be. Venom said he’s added five and you don’t see me on all fours with my tongue out, do you?”
“I guess you’re right.” He says.
“Good. Now pretty please read me the next chapter.”
He smiles. “Of course.”
Venom is stumped. This is not at all going the way he’d planned. Instead of relaxing, it’s only made things more tense between the two of you. He was going to need to intervene internally.
“It’s taking effect.” Venom says from within.
“How are you so sure?” Eddie answers back into the mindscape.
“Come on, Eddie, I know it’s been months. But tell me you haven’t forgotten the way she looks when she really, really wants you,” Venom purrs. “Look at those eyes glossing over, darkening when she rakes them over you. She’s biting her lip—ha! She isn’t paying attention to your words.”
“You’re wrong. It’s nothing like that.” Eddie says trying to maintain focus by reading to you.
“I’ve been inside her once,” Venom continues. “I can sense the changes in her body even long after we’ve separated.”
“She’s just fine.” Eddie says in clear denial.
“Then ask her if she heard what you just said. Better yet ask her anything, she’ll probably say ‘yes’ to it all if it meant having our cock inside her.” Venom chuckles wickedly.
He’s reluctant, not wanting to embarrass you, but Eddie tests Venom’s theory anyway in hopes to quell his curiosity. Why on Earth would you want them back when you had so many different options at college? The sooner Eddie could disprove his claims, the sooner they can put aside that hopeful part of them that thinks the relationship could work.
“Hey, um, by any chance do you wanna share a jar of olives together?” He asks.
“Yes.” You sigh dreamily.
He perplexedly blinks at your reply to his absurd question. You hated olives.
“Babygirl, are you paying attention?” He asks.
“Mhm.” You nod still looking at him as if he hung up the stars. And now that Venom pointed it out, Eddie, too, could see your telltale sign in just the way you clenched your thigh together alone.
“Oh, really,” He asks, cupping a hand under your chin; his fingertips dimpling your cheeks. “What did I just read to you?”
“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?”
“We’re studying American History, angel.” He smirks.
“Sorry, daddy,” You say, taking them completely off guard. Eddie hates how he instantly hardens at thought as if he’d taken the aphrodisiac, too. “Can I make it up to you? Taste you.”
“Yes!” Venom says.
“No,” Eddie protests. “You’re not in the right state of mind, missy. You’re going to bed, if you decide to take care of yourself on your own that’s your choice. In the morning if you still feel like you want to, then we can—”
“It’s only an aphrodisiac, dude. Not a drug. I’m not out of my mind for wanting you inside me. Both of you.”
“We’re in!” Venom says ready to reach out for you but Eddie smacks his dark tendril from your reach.
“No, we’re—” Eddie’s cut off by your lips on his. Somehow, Venom was able to sneak his mischievous tentacles around and bring your heads together.
You immediately get to work french kissing him passionately and tugging the hair on the back of his neck. His beard burns your face from the rough friction of the make-out session but it doesn’t deter you from being more forceful.
Venom’s tongue joins into the entanglement flicking and gliding between you and Eddie’s tongues, gathering a mixture of your salivas.
When Eddie breaks the kiss, you’re at his thick neck licking and biting away while Venom’s eager tongue, slithered and constricted around your body like vines.
“Stop. You don’t…” Eddie’s interrupted by yet another one of your lingering wanton kisses, finishing his sentence once you break apart. “…want this.”
“I’ve never stopped wanting you,” You suck on the space connect jaw and his neck before dragging your teeth along the vein. “Please fuck me.”
Eddie’s still too afraid to answer, cradling the back of your head while your lips and tongue continue their assault on his body.
“Fuck, babygirl,” He groans, missing this feeling of you devouring him as if he were a buffet. You and Venom were always big tongue enthusiasts wanting to put your mouths around anything that attracted you including Eddie.
His eyes flutter shut and you crawl into his lap, grinding your hips down while you tasted what you could. You pay special attention to his plump lips, licking and biting them.
“Can I go further?” You ask him.
“You heard Venom—”
“What do you want?”
“I want you.”
At his admission you moan, not being able to take it anymore. You and Venom work in sync. He begins to remove Eddie’s clothes while each sink that’s exposed you go over it with your tongue.
Eddie’s really hairy so occasionally your tongue would run over a patch of hair and you’d give it special attention.
“Fuck, I think I might actually cum from this alone,” He laughs bashfully, surprising himself. “I’m so sensitive for some reason.”
You dip your tongue into his belly-button, swirling it around before your tongue finally trails down to his throbbing bulge. It jumps in his khaki shorts the moment you place your tongue’s pressure directly on it. He shudders, his fingers through your hair.
The feverish heat of the effects take over you just as you pass the first barrier, bringing his pants down around his ankles. Venom lifts you by the waist for a moment, adding a pillow underneath for your knees. You run your fingers along the underside of his tentacles—where it’s most sensitive for him—as a thank you.
You’re not gentle at all once you spot the wet spot on Eddie’s underwear. He’d cum already and had been too ashamed to speak up. He could already see you making an old man joke about him needing the honey packet more than you but instead you went for his soul.
Immediately, you clamp your mouth around the clothed tip to suck at the sticky essence. It’s so sensitive he could cry, it’s as if the aphrodisiac is giving him a contact high.
He tries to pull your hungry mouth from him but is thwarted when Venom wraps a snaky limb around his wrists, pinning him down.
“Oh god, fuck. Baby…please.” Eddie whimpers.
You drag your nails along his little belly, gripping and pulling the tiny hairs of his happy trail while you sucked him off. Another one of Venom’s tendrils finds their way between your legs, teasing your little nub. You let out a shuddery gasp, your warm breath skirting over his now exposed veiny length.
You trace your tongue on the lightning-patterned cock, tasting the addictive earthiness of him. You’re gushing wet and ready to their cock and Venom could very well slip a wriggling tendril inside of you this instant…
…but he’d rather Eddie get first dibs.
#eddie brock x reader smut#eddie brock#veddie x reader#venom movie#venom fanfiction#tom hardy x reader#tom hardy fanfiction#kinktober 2024#teratophillia#kinktober 24#kinktober list#kinktober fic#eddie fanfic#venom au#venom symbiote#venom the last dance#Male character x reader#character x reader#x reader#reader insert#mcu fandom#mcu smut#marvel fanfiction#marvel cinematic universe#monster lover#monster x human
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Fruit of the Wicked: Chapter Ten
Content Warning: lady whump, male whumper/female whumpee, POC whump (whumpee is a Black woman), age gap whump (whumper is an older man), religious whump (Christianity), captivity whump, non-con drugging, brief suicidal ideation
Thank you to Marz for beta reading this chapter
Word Count: 1833 Previous Next
“I come bearing gifts,” the man said the next time he entered the room. Dani watched, bleary-eyed, as the man approached her, holding a single plastic water bottle, its contents sloshing as he moved.
“I thought you said gifts,” she mumbled as he crouched down in front of her, stretching out her arm to take the bottle from him.
“Be grateful you get even this much.” He reminded her, passing the bottle off to her. Dani took the bottle, moving it from side to side the second it entered her hand. The way the water moved about the bottle quickly enraptured her rapidly drying out brain.
“You gonna drink it or what?” The man asked.
Dani didn’t hesitate before unscrewing the top of the water bottle and pouring its contents down her throat. She left a little bit of it to swish around in her dry mouth, begging for it to sink into her gums and tongue for some much-needed moisture.
The man chuckled and nodded as Dani downed nearly the entire bottle. “I’d apologize for not getting you water sooner, but we both know water opens up the flood gates for further needs, and besides, watching you when you finally get it is a whole lot more fun this way.”
“Oh, I bet,” Dani snapped, rolling her eyes.
“I have to say, though, the crankiness is not my favorite.” He told her in a warning tone of voice. Dani decided not to press, instead looking down at the bottle in her hand.
The man looked at her, expecting. “Don’t you have anything else to say to me?”
Motherfuck— “Thank you.” Dani muttered, refusing to make eye contact.
The man smiled, his lips curling in on themselves. “You’re most certainly welcome, darlin’.”
She hated him. Hated him.
“Did you know it’s been almost a week since you’ve been here?” The man asked her. Dani shook her head. Admittedly, she’d lost count of the days when the hunger began to hit. “Today’s your seventh day.”
Seven days. How had it only been seven days?
Seven days without food, or consistent access to water. Seven days of being forced to interact with this fucking freak. Dani couldn’t help the way her eyes bugged when she inhaled. Seven days into however much longer there was of this. Should she start counting down the days until he eventually got sick of her and ended things? Was he beginning to get sick of her already? He had given her water this time, unprompted. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?
Did she even want it to last much longer than this?
The man began pacing around the room, inspecting the books and knick knacks that rested on the higher shelves. Dani watched him, confused. “What are you doing?” She asked as she watched him lift up a paperweight from one of the shelves above her.
“Just waiting,” he hummed. “I need to take care of a few more things before we leave, but have to wait to get some of them done.”
Dani perked up, nearly hitting her head on the shelf above her. “Leaving? We’re leaving? Leaving for where?”
“No, my daughter and I are leaving.” The man said. “You, darlin’, are staying here. I can’t trust you not to make a mess of things while we’re out and about yet.”
Dani deflated. “Oh.”
The man laughed. “Did you seriously think I’d bring you anywhere in this state? With your behavior? Come on, now. You should know better than that.”
Dani squirmed in her seat. “Where are you going?” She asked.
“That,” the man fiddled with the cuffs of his flannel. “Is for me to know.” He glanced down at her, smirking. “You’ll get to know soon enough.”
Huffing, Dani began to crinkle the water bottle in her hand, eliciting a pained look from her captor. “I’d argue I’ve been very well-behaved.”
“Oh, would you? I think the bruise on my shin would beg to differ.”
Dani smiled to herself. “It bruised?”
The man narrowed his eyes. “Don’t be too proud of yourself. May I remind you of what that little choice got you?” He gestured over to the unused bedpan.
For a moment, the world began to blur. Dani quickly blinked the blurriness away. An unwanted side effect of the hunger she experienced, no doubt. Groaning, Dani rubbed her head. “And how long are you guys going to be gone for?” She asked.
“Until later tonight. I don’t trust you to be by yourself for that long.”
“Wow, thanks for that show of confidence.” Dani remarked sarcastically. Her head felt weird, fuzzy, even. Despite the length of time without food, she hadn’t felt anything like this since…
“Did you give me something?”
The man stopped, turning to finally face her. “Give you what?”
Dani didn’t respond, instead choosing to give him a knowing look.
The man crouched down and held out his hand. “If you don’t want the water, I can just take it back.”
Dani sheltered the bottle with her body. Despite its near emptiness, she did not want to part with it. It was, after all, her only source of water. “Never mind,” Dani mumbled, curled around the bottle.
The man hummed, nodding his head and standing up from his crouch. “Then don’t complain. What you get is what you get.”
And you don’t get upset. Suddenly, memories of her mother saying exactly that flooded to the forefront of Dani’s mind. It almost made Dani teary-eyed to think of her, of what she must be doing now that her daughter was gone, in some reclusive older man’s remote cabin in the woods.
Almost.
So, they continued on, the man with his pacing, Dani with nursing the water bottle and her headache, which was slowly worsening. Eventually, it got to the point where Dani started to find it hard to stay sitting up, so she pushed herself up against the bookshelf to keep herself upright.
The man watched as she did so. “How are you feeling?” The man asked, scrutinizing her.
“Fine,” Dani began to slur. Definitely not normal. She glared at the man as the world began to get blurry again.
He gave her a little smirk in response. “Did you really think I’d just leave you to your own devices while we were gone? You could get into some serious trouble with us not here to stop you.”
Dani could distantly feel her body begin to slide off the bookshelf as he went on, slinking down towards the floor.
“It’ll only last for a few hours. We should be home by the time it wears off. For now, though,” the man bent over and pet Dani’s head as she finally slid all the way down onto the floor. “You’ll just have to take a nice little nap until we return.”
“Fuck you,” Dani slurred as she fought to keep her eyelids from sinking shut.
“Goodnight,” the man drawled as he walked away from her and approached the doors to the study. When the door opened and the man slipped out was when Dani finally allowed her eyes to close.
———
The room is dark when Dani awakens. She stares at the ceiling as the room begins to come back into focus. Rolling onto her side slowly, Dani looked to the doors. The lights were off on the other side, too, and there was no movement. Groaning, Dani rubbed her head as she came to.
She was alone. Really, truly alone, for the first time in days. Sitting up, her head spun, but she stayed up, and that’s what matters. Looking around, Dani verified she was alone before turning to the bookcase behind her. He deserves this, Dani thought to herself as she stretched to pull a book off of the shelf. She turned to a random page before gripping the edge of said page and tearing. The page ripped from the spine, fluttering down from the book to the floor. It felt good. Dani ripped another one out. And another. She kept ripping until a small, folded piece of paper fluttered to the floor.
Dani stared at the folded up piece of paper, perplexed. Her mind was still muddy from whatever was in her water, but she still knew that the folded piece of paper tucked into the book was not part of the book’s binding itself. It could be nothing, Dani thought to herself. It could just be annotations, or an old flyer used as a bookmark. It could be nothing. Still, her hand reached out for the paper, anyways, and reverently unfolded it to find a few nicely written words written out in pencil on the page.
Dear Whoever Comes Next, the paper read. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry?
The writing continued. That’s all I really have to say to you. I’m sorry he took you. I’m sorry he made you his. And I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
The letter went unsigned. Dani stared down at the paper, the words staring right back up at her. Before she could even think about what she had just read, a rumbling sounded from outside the cabin, getting louder and louder before stopping abruptly, headlights shining through the windows and the glass study doors. They were home, and there Dani sat with evidence of snooping around in her lap. She quickly scrambled to grab all of the ripped up pages and shove them back into the book, letter included, and then slammed the book shut, shoving the book back onto the bookshelf before the front door to the cabin swung open. Dani laid back down before the two of her captors could see she was awake, turning her back to the doors so they couldn’t see her face.
They came in quietly, shutting the door behind them. One set of footsteps walked right past the study, followed by a small thud that Dani had come to know as the ladder to the daughter’s room coming down from the ceiling and hitting the floor. The other set of footsteps instead walked right to the study doors, opening them and walking inside.
Dani slammed her eyes shut, hoping that pretending to be asleep would save her the grief of having to talk to the man about his night. The footsteps approached, stopping right behind her. She unintentionally tensed, and hoped that the man wouldn’t be able to tell. Dani could feel as the man moved closer to her, crouching down beside her to inspect her face. She stayed as still as a statue for all of it. All of it, except for when the man moved a strand of hair hanging in Dani’s face to behind her ear. Her face scrunched as she resisted the urge to bite the man’s hand.
“Goodnight, darlin’,” The man said quietly. “See you in the morning.”
As soon as it was safe to, once the man was long out of the room, Dani finally allowed herself to shudder.
Taglist: @flowersarefreetherapy, @generic-whumperz, @deluxewhump, @another-whump-sideblog, @pigeonwhumps, @lektricwhump, @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees, @sowhumpshaped, @dietofwormsofficial, @starsick1979
#posted this early because of recent events#hope it helps#intimate whumper#whump#whumplr#drug whump#lady whump#fruit of the wicked#captivity whump
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Those old scented build-a-bears smell better than literally every air freshener
#like the sugar cookie scent????#OH MT GOD#ITS LIKE 14 YEARS OLD BUT ITS AMAZING#I inherited SO MANY fucking build a bears bc my older brother was addicted to them and the fancy scented ones are my favs#make it into a drug and 8 year old me would of absolutely snorted the cupcake scent#textpost#shitpost#build a bear#build-a-bear#stuffed animals#plushie#plushies#stuffed animal#childhood#kidcore#is this kidcore? idk i don’t keep up w/ that stuff#seriously I think they get better with age#childhood memory#childhood memories#shitposting#textposts#idk why I’m actually going all out w/ tagging this one#maybe it’ll be a hit with the build a bear community or something
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it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao
#i mean it’s hardly surprising given what we now know#she did all that awful shit and wasn’t even charmed#like i see people talk about how stupid miquella is because of this plan to essentially trap radahn#but that also makes malenia look stupid af too#‘go to caelid and kill radahn so i can marry him’ ans she was like sure#miquella wanted the one guy in the lands between who loves war and fighting to be his consort for his age of peace and compassion…#what a genius he is.#makes me wonder why he even needs some heavy weight to keep order for him when he can just charm people into submission#was radahn just there as a ceremonial position?#oh wait i forgot miquella thinks he’s super kind so that’s why he wants him#miq learnt about the gravity magic horse thing and swooned#honestly still can’t get over how incredibly stupid the twins look after the dlc#i think people like to imagine malenia was charmed just because it makes it all look slightly better on her part#like they are just making excuses for her#but holy shit the fact she was all but willing to fucking die so miquella could bag radahn..#what a thing to die for lmao#and he was apparently present after the battle? but didn’t do anything to help either radahn nor malenia?#instead he was helping a random redmane?#he obviously knew malenia had bloomed but ultimately didn’t care i guess#kind of like ‘oh well if she’s still alive when I get back i’ll deal with it then’#honestly wish miquella had just died in that cocoon at this point#tbh he doesn’t really do much in the dlc anyway they could have made it more about messmer and marika#hell bring melina into it please that would have been more interesting at this point#we didn’t need the dubcon incest plot micheal you could have left that one in the drafts#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts#seriously need to move on from this game for my own sanity
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been drawing a sorta reference thingy for Salesman Barry in the timeloop au i've been rotating around in my brain for a while recently :] it isn't as much a character design reference as it is more of a reference for how Barry's mental state begins to deteriorate as he starts having intense deja vu and nightmares every time his timeline gets reset upon death and he tries to piece together what is going on out of pure desperation and instincts (he is being experimented on and doesn't know it yet). i want to throw him at a wall (affectionate)
it is still a WIP as i haven't drawn all the details yet and i want to change the colours as they look too dull on my pc,,, also here is the original sketch :D
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#salesman!barry steakfries#i have been thinking of more ideas for the timeloop au..... still haven't come up with a proper name for it yet though loolll#i like putting barry in horrible traumatising situations it's fun seeing his character traits get pushed to their limits#first i'm putting him through a brutal survivalist zombie landscape that makes barry question if he'll even make it out alive this time#and then i'm shoving him into a horrible reality where his life and timeline are fake and his whole reality literally starts to shatter#its ok he gets better!!!#not so much craig though :( craig gets it rough#he basically goes through a horrific accident involving experimental technology that damns him to an existence that is permanently-#-attached to the timeline itself where he will die if the timeline gets wiped or he tries to enter another one#craig's existence is basically a living purgatory where he can never age or die but he is no longer alive as his former self anymore#he's like a half-ghost and he ends up doomed no matter what action barry would take at the end of the story#if barry erases the timeline craig dies. if craig tries to come with barry to the new timeline he dies.#if barry does nothing and keeps living in this broken timeline loop he's in then craig will never escape and have the chance to help barry#oh yeah i forgot to mention craig is trapped in a basement. and also that this post is about barry. woops#barry has to basically become a detective in this story and string together what the fuck is happening based on pure instincts alone#he's like a conspiracy theorist with his board covered in photos connected by red strings#it's really cool i think..... i should make a whole separate post about this#i love drawing my little man :)#he's so traumatised he needs a big hug and a best friend and tons of therapy and plenty of ice cream#i'm just thinkin of the effects of barry's trauma after he goes through the events of timeloop and enters the new dimension#dude's probably gonna have tones of nightmares and trust issues and dissociative episodes#he's probably going to develop a compulsion where he continuously checks the date and time because he's terrified of it resetting again#he needs a hug seriously#alternate universe#my au
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for the first time in my life i was just asked if i have kids instead of if i'm in college yet. the years start coming and they don't stop coming huh
#stooooop#i know i have been old enough to have kids for a while but 😵💫#im always behind on all the milestones in life tho but it never stood out before bc people always thought i was 17#literally from when i was 13 until very recently people always guessed i was like 16-19#which was great bc i am an autistic late bloomer who lives w my parents and sucks at being an adult#so giving off the vibe and appearance of being a teenager was fine#but now i look like an adult#🧍♀️🧍♀️🧍♀️#yet i am not good enough at being one for these questions and assumptions 😭#i hate it hereee#anyway weird old guy at the store started telling dumb blonde jokes then asked me if i had kids#never in my life have i been asked that#late twenties fr the worst age bc u still feel young but start getting treated old and also u don't have ur shit and life together yet#but everyone thinks you do or should by now#alas#irl i'm 27 what am i a child bride moment#not that having kids is for old people#but im not even good at being responsible for myself yet let alone an entire baby#i do want kids but im not ready for that yet#also never been in love 🫠#or even seriously dated anyone ever#not that it's a requirement#in fact im planning to adopt esp if i dont get married but still#anyway i do very much want kids im just not in that place yet#and didnt feel that behind in life about it bc nobody ever asked me that before#thsi better not be like how everyone asks you as soon as they meet u about ur job or school i dont need to be fielding this forever
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Once again thinking about my oc who makes how to do videos that Vulcan kids like to watch, except this time I’m also thinking about “guest stars,” because you just know there’s going to be some things where you need an expert on it for
And originally I was just thinking about pleasant guest stars, and how the Human oc is unknowingly also teaching Vulcan kids how to handle their emotions because the Human is trying a lot of new things that actually scare them, or make them anxious, things like that, but they just calm themselves down on camera and continue doing them
But now I’m thinking about Jim Kirk, specifically aos Jim Kirk, guest starring before he ever became a captain, and it’s “how to ride a motorcycle,” and the whole time, this Human who is usually good at keeping a calm and pleasant disposition, just keeps turning to anxiously tell the camera “don’t do that” because Jim went straight to tricks and stuff that he shouldn’t be showing beginners
Jim Kirk is rewatching this episode as a captain, trying to avoid looking at Bones and Spock as they watch him put himself in danger without proper protective gear on
#bones is about to get his ass#god it was like 12 straight hours with those kids yesterday#they were all under the age of 10#they might have gotten me sick they kept coughing and sneezing into their hands and then grabbing me as well as touching other objects#they were all sweet kids!! they were just overstimulating and then after like. 7 hours. they had clearly overstimulated each other#so they kept getting into fights every 5 seconds#so I. I cried.#not in front of them#did not yell at them either!!#but I could not handle them anymore#had to walk away and beg another adult for help and that adult went immediately to yelling at them :(#so I had to go back to managing them#yesterday was. so stressful. but it’s not those kids fault that their parents use bbqs to just ditch them wtf#plus I had only gotten a half hour of sleep the night before so I was running on empty the entire time#but I made it through!!#(barely)#kids deserve better#seriously#anyways so I’m back to thinking about ocs who can. actually handle kids.#Star Trek#Star Trek aos#jim t kirk#jim kirk#james tiberius kirk#s’chn t’gai spock#Spock#bones#bones mccoy#leonard mccoy
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i literally can't think about life or the future for more than a few seconds without getting so distressed that i shut down. surely this is a good sign for things to come
#true about any aspect of those. personal life. local politics. world disasters etc#i can't focus on one and approach it first bc even that's already too much for me#i was genuinely truly literally not made to be alive. i am not built for this. i shouldn't have survived this long#i feel like an error in the book of fate. like i accidentally dodged the grim reaper for too long#there is too much of me inside my brain. if that makes sense. i am long overdue. etc etc#what is that even called is it still depression at this point 😭😭😭 it's like a whole new thing fr#seriously tho how the fuck does one even get over it. being in a state of mind like that means no therapist would even try working with me#(bc well if i don't think i should be alive how am i supposed to work to get better. esp when i don't see any reason to)#(kinda like a festering wound in a body part that should've been cut off ages ago)#everything feels pointless bc of how shitty the future will be no matter what. like there is truly no hope at all#this isn't pessimism it's just facts. there is no good ending here no matter what. unless you overhaul reality completely#vent#:/ i should probably try to sleep but i'm doing really bad#idk if i'll have nightmares or just a very sad dream like i had last night. i don't seem to have much else going on there in my brain#negative //#sorryyyyyy#i'd ask for help but idk what help to even ask for. what anyone could even offer. like there is no solution or a way to forget it#best i can do is distract myself all the time but that's really hard to do when a lot of what i have going on makes me feel bad too#. rambling in nonsensical ways atp sorry. brain is being mean and stupid
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working here is making me a little bit nuts abt antibullying again <3
#i mean ive always been a little nuts abt it. but its worse rn :)#i have been saying For Years that the reason antibullying campaigns have been so toothless is bc theyve ignored root causes#you cannot fight bullying while ignoring discrimination in our larger society#its not a fucking 80s movie people dont (frequently) get bullied Just for being nerds irl. the go to examples are so outdated#i could get into specifics but i think i dont need to! its ableism its racism its classism etc etc etc#we need to be actively teaching kids from a young age that at the bare minimum? acting on discriminatory beliefs is wrong#there needs to be actual consequences and understanding of why its wrong#we need to talk abt these issues WITH specifics. talk abt exactly whats wrong and why#call out specific common jokes explain slurs talk abt current events related to these issues#and fucking get rid of the 0 tolerance bullshit ive never heard of it doing anything but punishing the victim for fighting back#and i know some people will still be missed by this programming bc of their home life or influences. you really cant win them all#but you at least need to fucking try and attack this problem from the root instead of snipping vaguely at leaves#levi.txt#and i dont want to hear SHIT abt how your precious baby is too young to learn abt discrimination bc itll make them sad#as long as there are kids their age facing it? theyre not too young to try and understand#i just. aughhhh#like. ive been there dude i got bullied for a long ass time#didnt know why at the time but looking back it was absolutely bc i was nd#and that was so long ago and its still not better. it fuckin kills me man we should be getting over this#delete later#im very tired and this is a Big Rant but idfk man!! im mad#this shit ends lives youd think wed take it more seriously
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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They say to never trust how you feel about your life after 9PM but it's always before 9PM somewhere. Anyway I think I might be a therian
#don't take this post 100% seriously I've been sick and#crying my eyes out to “no more birthdays” associating the song with trying to relive a childhood that isn't mine (childhood trauuuumaaaaaa)#that's a big problem I have#deep down I always think someday I'm gonna wake up and I will have been born a few years earlier-#so I can be an “appropriate” age to experience all my favorite media as it releases and interact accordingly#i always think- if that were the case I could have avoided my traumatic years and grown up much happier#don't get me wrong- I'm happy right now- you'd be hard pressed to find me on a day I'm not#but there's some existentialism that comes with wanting to magically wake up a different age- in the past- in a different life#I want to have lived any life but mine#and I just keep waiting for it to feel better again#it never does#crowfish crap#that therian part is definitely coinciding with autism and gender non conformity#when I picture myself I immediately picture my fursona- not a human who (at the moment) appears feminine#i hardly know anything about the subculture itself however#blathering#its true btw don't trust how you feel about your life at night time
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I can just imagine these two getting into a massive argument over something stupid and at some point Billy's temper will get the best of him and he'll, like, pin her down or against the wall but then immediately let go to hide his boner from her and she'll think she's won the argument.
Or whatever. Something like that.
Just watch. Put these two in a room alone and one of them is coming out on their hands and knees. And it ain't gonna be Wy, that's for sure.
[Continued in tags]
ANTIS FUCK OFF, YOU DON'T BELONG ON THIS POST
#Yeah I don't know what I'm getting at#The fair rides made me sick so I can't think straight#It sounded better in my head#Instead it ended up making zero sense#In all seriousness though can you imagine these two getting into an argument#What would that even be like anyway 🤔#⚰️🧟♂️Der kommissar's in town🧟♂️⚰️#tw age gap#cw age gap#tw implied age gap#cw implied age gap#I can't think of any other trigger warnings for this#If I missed one let me know#tw dead dove#cw dead dove#dead dove#dead dove do not eat#crossover#stranger things#hetalia#billy hargrove#aph wy
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is there like a curse you get put under when you decide that you like cold weather better than hot weather to never ever shut the fuck up when someone expresses a different opinion on the subject, or is that just a choice you are all making
#i really don't get it. i don't do this on posts about liking the cold#but every post about liking hot weather is FULL of people like 'ohhh but op have you considered it's easier to warm up than cool down'#as though a) that is true everywhere or b) we've never heard it before#first of all no it's not i will refer you to the years ive spent insomniac in the winter because no matter how i huddled i could not feel m#toes but second of all we fucking KNOW. we Know. we know you feel that way. It's not a secret we are AWARE. WE KNOW#no one's saying you can't like the cold but for fucks sake if you're not gonna say anything helpful what's the point of saying it#red rambles#i know i'm being a bitch this week but also i don't care. it's like fucking clockwork#every single time i reblog one of those posts i just wait for three or four people to tell me about how they 'can't peel off their skin' if#it's too hot. as though the only way to cool down is to take off layers#unfortunately i am not afflicted with whatever curse this is. sorry about your inability to shut up when you're clearly in disagreement tho#for the record i'm still housetrained and i have no intention of expressing this annoyance by going and bothering people who like the cold#you can like the cold if you want to i dont give a shit#but like. Seriously what the fuck is the deal with this shit#do you actually think that 'weh weh but actually the cold is better' is a unique opinion. approximately 50% of the people in any given place#will agree with you#there is absolutely no new complaint you can offer under the sun that will be fresh to anyone hearing it#as we have exhausted literally all of them by the age of like twelve.
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interrogation questions will be coming back soon! I've been busy/tired so I wanted to take a break from doing anything absikdof
but! I'm on spring break now, so stuff will kick up again ^^
on other news, friends are really cool /pos
#mug talks#i love my online friends and recently#ive gotten closer with some irls and it makes me. really happy#i think? i have a problem with connecting with people my age or at least around me because i dont? particularly have anything interesting#i really enjoy hanging out in the sense of being chill and doing our own things#im a pretty quiet person as i usually dont get involved but this past week has been a flurry of drama ive accidentally gotten involved in#and while i dont particularly enjoy the drama i do enjoy my friends#i enjoy just being my quiet self instead of being upbeat sometimes#and theyve sorta been able to provide that#wow this is seriously silly im rambling about friends ;;;#to be fair it's pretty easy to get detached from everyone around you when it's all really silly stuff all in all?#i think doing stuff has been helping me be better friends with everyone
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ok now some people are just being straight up mean on the weird al poll 😭😭
#i'm sorry?? for being young??#like i said i'll gladly make another one that's like. Better with more options#but again#the poll was smt i didn't put much thought into#it's just for fun!#also some people are making it sound like a lot of the younger people in the tags (assuming around my age too) would have#never experienced things that I HAVE DEFO EXPERIENCED.#i experienced early youtube!!! i grew up on it!!#i still listen to the radio!! i just happened to be born too late AND not in the USA so i never heard him on it!!#i HAVE cds and dvds.#some people are way too mean to younger people and it's a bit unfair#we're trying our best real life sucks this was a fun poll why are you taking it so seriously#someone said they hate the post?? girl just scroll then#have you heard of the block button.#i'm sorry for ranting but this is like getting on my nerves.#if anyone (specifically like mutuals) think it's a good idea to try making a better poll i'll do it!#but i don't think i Have to#god some of the tags on that post are just making me feel worse#and this day was already horrible#vex rambles
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